Review of - THE COLLECTED REGRETS OF CLOVER - Mikki Brammer
I don't want this to be full of spoilers but I will quote from the book. I wanted to talk more about how it effected me on different levels rather than a traditional book review.
AS AN AUTHOR
I am impressed (and a little jealous) by the ingenuity of giving a character the job of a death doula to express and explore death in such a cheerful and sweet way. Clover, the main character, is lovable from the start. Talk about a hook line - 'The first time I saw someone die I was five.' Immediate sympathy and curiosity. The 'first time' implying she'd seen many more which is confirmed in the first paragraph of chapter two - 'I didn't mean to keep count of how many people I'd watched die...today the tally nudged up to ninety-seven.' What? I have to read on. I am hooked.
Now I bought this from a charity shop and didn't really read the back blurb so I was shocked by this number and wanted to know why she had seen so many people die. Clover is a death doula. I didn't even know these people existed and I wish I'd read this book before sitting with my mum-in-law last year as she died. A death doula is a certified professional who guides and supports terminally ill patients and their families through the end of life journey with compassion and companionship. We didn't have a death doula for Gwen, but the care team was fantastic.
The story flowed, I picked up hints of what may happen, there were high points and obstacles for Clover, Clover grew and changed, all the things a good book should have. I want to write as clear and as focused as this author.
There are little stories within the story which enhance the main plot and Clover's past is woven in with skill.
I wish I'd written this.
AS ME
I wish I'd read this before 2024. I found strength and hope in the idea that grief is personal and no-one treads the same path. We can have grief for as long as it is needed, maybe forever and that's okay. I do not need to follow a pathway set by others. I love the idea of culture and how it effects how we see, talk about and process grief. I see more clearly my own immortality and wish to work on no regrets when I die.
In the book Clover has three notepads - Regrets, Advice and Confessions - in which she writes what the people she has been with's words. I love this idea, not of writing other people's but of writing my own and then hopefully removing the regrets which may or may not be connected to confessions, of course not all regrets can be unregretted- is that even a word?- but many can. Or maybe there is a way to let some regrets melt away into the past. I'm not sure I'll have that much advice to write about, but perhaps I will learn lessons along the way. I think I'd have one notepad though. Maybe like a diary. We'll see. Here is one piece of advice from the book -
'The secret to a beautiful death is to live a beautiful life'
I love how this book based on death is really about living the best life you can, for none us knows what is beyond this life, we only know that one day we will die.
I am working on this and many days my life is beautiful. I hope yours is too.
I'd love to know if there is a book that you have enjoyed because of it's message as much as the way it has been written.
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