I am more aware of colour than ever before or more than I remember. I wonder if 7 year old me was as captivated and enthralled by the depth of tones of this world. I don't know if colour has leapt out at me because recently I had a sight scare, don't worry it's okay, or because I've been exploring colour in art and experimenting with colour on furniture, or because autumn is full of splendid colours. Whatever the reason I'm loving the colours around me, today.
I am sitting in front of a fire which is pretending to be the northern lights, as pink as we saw briefly in the sky several weeks ago at home, maybe the fire wanted to remind me of the wow of that moment. Thank you fire. A lovely pink glow from between two pieces of wood, on camera anyhow. In reality, or my eyes reality, it is a rich and deep orange like a luminous pumpkin...I hope my stored pumpkins at home are behaving and staying firm ready for our return. The fire, whatever colour it wants to be, is heating the room and me nicely. It's a kind heat, a relaxing away any concerns or worries kind of heat.
The skies lately have been a muted grey with the occasional cloud of blue and although this darker weather is normally depressing, it's not. There are no rain clouds, no rain dark, or storm dark, although evening dark arrives sooner than I expect every night. I'm finding these grey days comfortable, like a gentle blanket wrapped over us, protecting. A hug of 'there now little human, all is well.' I know I'm lucky to be feeling this as I am aware of much 'not so well' in the world, but wait, why is it lucky to be content? Surely we all deserve contentment?
I know there are coal black fires within me that, should I allow them, could consume my happiness, but I choose contentment. Acceptance of what has gone before and enjoyment of the now. It's a blissful state that a year ago I never believed I would ever achieve, for back then I couldn't even remember what contentedness was, a foreign word, an untouched concept. It's been a long climb to this state of being and I'm grateful for every step.
Art has helped, a release, a state of anything goes, no right or wrong, just play kind of art. Therapy art, art for art's sake, joyful art, meditative art, well-being art... whatever it is named I've loved being involved with it. And the bonus has not just been a gentling of my thoughts, a slowing of adrenaline through my blood, an exploration of my creativity, a connection with nature, but also pages and pages of creativity, some of which are great art. There are also ugly art pieces, experiments turned to a muddy mess, colour clashes, perspective problems, strange choices of mediums...in their own way they too are great art, or will be one day when they are morphed into something new. We can all morph into something beautiful and meaningful given the right circumstances.
I am wearing green, purple, and black today.
A green t-shirt bought so many years ago in Hawaii and only now am I finding it comfortable to wear, memories of that wonderful holiday bubble up when I look in the mirror...watching whales, hearing them sing when under water exploring corals and colourful fish, swimming with a turtle below me, exploring the rain-forest and seeing tiny pineapple plants dotting the hillsides. There are a thousand greens outside in the garden, some more yellow, others touched with brown. A morning walk revealed more green tones, muted but not diminished by the gentle weather.
My jumper is purple, soft with a rounded neckline. It's the twin of a jumper back home. This one I am wearing belonged to my mum-in-law, she bought one for me and one for her at the same time. Mine at home is more worn with an embroidered flower where a hole appeared, this one has a flour cloud on the front from baking today. Baking is fun, especially when shared with my son and some experimentation which turned out to be very tasty.
My trousers are black, not fitting as tight as they once did, so a belt helps me to remain decent throughout the day. Black compliments the purple and reminds me of the times I've been through, not in a bad way, but in a remember what you have survived way, remember to live each day, to be true to yourself. They too have signs of a baking afternoon smeared here and there.
Tomorrow other colours will be worn and they too will evoke memories.
What colours are you wearing today?
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