I'm not brilliant at the best friend thing. In fact I'm absolute pants at it. I have many acquaintances, mostly online and connected to writing and creating, but I'm just not good at being a friend. I've had friends, at school, collage, work... but I don't nurture and keep the relationship going. It's sort of too much like hard work, which sounds terrible, but it's the truth.
I'm always amazed at those who are in their 40s plus and still have school friends they keep in touch with, chat on the phone with, meet with. I don't envy them, just wonder how they find the time and energy to do so.
The only friends from my childhood are Monkey, Double Duck, and Panda, who snuggle together in my writing hut. Very imaginative names, but unforgettable. And poor Panda caused a few problems when he arrived in my life, but that's another story.
I've felt bad about this lack of effort to be a bestie on my part over the years, and wondered what I've been missing, but now accept it's who I am. And if I think about it, no one has made the effort to keep in touch with me. Not sure if that's a good sign or a bad one, and to be honest, it's a relief.
My husband and I have friendly neighbours and two couples in the village that we spend time with, and another couple we like to play board games with. We are not in each other's pockets and often several months go by without a word between us, but if any of us needed help, we would be there.
I had a best friend, once, as a three year old. I don't remember her which is sad, apart from a sense of playing with her on the floor while our mums were playing Canaster. They had a big black dog that scared me although it was friendly. I'm told Denise and I were inseperable, until Denise and her family moved to Canada. She gave me Double Duck, knitted by her granny I believe, and I hope I gave her a favourite toy in return, and maybe it is still in her possession. I smile at the thought.
Was it this early experience that stopped me from giving my best friend heart to another? Or is it my introvert nature?
Whatever the reason, I am happy. I have the bestest of friends in my hubby and I get to live with him, and cycle adventure with him.
How cool is that?
Are you a 'bestie?'
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