A few years ago, someone gave me a pack of cards. Flower Spirit cards by Melanie Eclare. They came with a book, but I didn’t read it, I just looked at the beautiful photos of flowers and then put them on a shelf.
I love flowers, their simplistic
beauty hiding complex reasons for every part of them. Their colours, their
leaves, how they are tight buds one day and bright open flowers the next. They
delight me.
I take lots of flower photos,
often the same ones every year, but I don’t care, capturing them in that split
second of time is like I can keep their preciousness within my inner sight for
a while until another supersedes it.
More and more I am recognising what an important role flowers are in my life. I have learnt which ones can be digested by me, in salads, cooked, or in tisanes (herbal tea) fresh or dried. Dried, they delight me through the winter with their individual scent when I open a jar in my tisane cupboard. It is their scent that tells me which I want in my tea that day. I have become more intuitive as I’ve gathered and dried more and more. And I miss them when I am away from home.
I have been exploring my art
style, what I want to express, and how, and I listened to a podcast about
personal aesthetic and how important it is to know what you see as beautiful, for
that is what will come through as your style, your focus. It’s what will enable
people to recognise your artwork. I like this idea and I am focusing on what I
find truly beautiful in this world. And guess what? It’s been staring me in the
face for years. Flowers. I find flowers very beautiful and using them in my
artwork isn’t ‘tame, lame, unimaginative, or boring.’ It’s me expressing my
delight and joy. Of course, this expression can be subtle, suggestive, interpretive,
abstract, or realistic. I’m excited to journey on and see what my art will
mature into.
When I moved into my writing hut,
I looked through the house for things to inspire my writing in the little room
at the back of my garden and the cards, which I’d never really looked at were
chosen. They sat in their box looking pretty until covid came along. I
organised a WhatsApp group in the October of 2020 to link my two sisters, my
son who lives in the UK and my mum. To get the sharing and conversations
flowing I decided to use these cards. These
flower spirit cards have words on the back, words such as,
‘I look for the best
in everyone and everything.’
This is the spirit part, the mindfulness, the focus. There is a part of me that sneers at these types of cards and sayings and yet my soul loves them. Am I ashamed to let my true thoughts be seen? It’s about time I showed my true colours. I love these positive sayings, I love the power of the word, I love the slightly mystical unknown aspect of our world, brains, and souls.
In 2020 I’d look through the
photos and stop when one flower grabbed my attention, then I’d read the back.
Most of the time the words resonated within me, sometimes they were words for
someone else in my family. I’d share the flower photo and the words for the
day. I began to be more mindful and before choosing I’d think about a specific
person, a feeling, or a question before choosing a card. I don’t know how
powerful our subconscious brain is but if it helped me choose something that
made me or someone I loved, feel better then I don’t care about the ‘hows and
whys.’
It was fun, but gradually I stopped doing this as our lives slowly gained more ‘normality’, whatever that is. Actually, my life gained more grief momentum and time in my writing hut became spasmodic as we were often away from home.
For a few months, I’ve been
walking a dark, guilt, self-hatred, numbing, overwhelming, forested grief road,
and now I’m coming onto the leafy lanes of hope, joy, and acceptance I find
myself reaching for the cards again.
Now you may not believe in things
like these cards, or maybe those words are for me…but today I picked three
cards without looking, just a random three.
One was the poppy with the words above.
One was the sea holly with words of accepting myself.
One was the tulip with words about release and growth.
For some reason today I decided
to read the pages in the book that correspond to these photos and oh wow…
These three cards pulled at my soul, resonated deep within, felt like wisdom and support for what I am trying to do in my life. I was going to say they felt like friends, but I don’t really ‘do’ friends. I have acquaintances but only one best friend, and that is my husband. I’m not good at being a friend, and I accept that part of me, but that’s another story. If you do have best friends, then the feeling these cards gave to me is what I imagine friends might feel like. Understanding, no judgment, supportive, honest, and encouraging. I may be waffling here so I’ll get back to the cards.
Californian Poppy – now I can’t
just copy the words form the book so I’ll just quote a little,
‘A happy reminder to bring out
the best in everything you do.’
‘…feel the joy and happiness…,’
This is just what I’ve been trying
to do, to get back to the child within me who delights at simple things. It’s
been in my grief blog this trying to find joy again. I’ve felt a muted version
of joy lately, been consciously stopping and looking for happy moments in each
day and there are many, but they have been layered in a light mist.
This card is a great reminder to
keep on searching, keep being aware and knowing that someday that uprising
surge of joy from awe and wonder will return.
How did my subconscious know to
choose this card even without me looking?
Sea Holly –
This represents us hiding certain
sides of who we are and …
‘…only revealing them under
pressure, when we are caught unawares by the volatility of our emotion.’
It talks about our ‘thorny side’
and how important for our health it is to acknowledge every part of our
personality.
If you read my first grief blog
you will know that in the depths of grief and exhaustion, I did something I was
so ashamed of it broke me for a while. ‘Volatility of emotions,’ oh yes, I know
that well, and the numbness that followed.
I am working on accepting me and
maybe looking at this beautiful flower with all its prickles and thorniness
will remind me that it's okay to have a prickly side.
Tulip
The tulip is all about growth and
regeneration, new life after dormancy. And that is my life now. I am growing in
my soul and honesty with myself. I am finding new ways to express me.
‘Bereavement may leave us feeling
lifeless and flat.’ It does. But this flower represents moving on, not ignoring
the pain we have experienced but knowing that we have come through, stronger, wiser
(I hope), and knowing it’s time to see what else life has to offer.
Making a small change is a good
start. I’ve made a small change, choosing to express myself through collage. I'm making an ongoing larger change - changing how I react to other's problems.
THANK YOU CARDS
Now there are sceptics who will say that any card I chose would have resonated but that’s not
true. I’ve read some of the other cards and they don’t have the same strong reflective
connection to what I’ve been experiencing, learning, and expressing. There are
a few that I can connect with but not in the same deep way.
I haven’t read the ‘how to lay out and interpret the cards’ section, it looks a little like Tarot cards, which I do have, but only dip into occasionally to help with my writing, mostly choices my characters need to make. There is a 4 card reading and a 9 card reading, information on how to interpret the chosen cards, information on gardening with spirit - that sounds interesting - and further reading. Plenty of food for thought but for now, picking a few flower cards, reading their message, thinking about, and pining them to my metal board in my hut is enough. I think, although I am a little curious.
I’d love to know if
you use these cards,
something similar, or Tarot cards,
to help you clarify and affirm your thoughts and choices.
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