Space for strangers - Podcast
This year we have joined ‘Welcome to my Garden’ and provide a space for one tent in our garden for a maximum of two nights for free.
It’s easy to join and we can close the garden when we are not here. We can provide electricity if needed and a toilet and sink in the house when we are there and awake. We are lucky there is a public toilet in the village too, so our campers have another place to go if our door is locked. It is then up to us what interaction we wish to give. This is important for us, the choice of how much time we give to the garden guests because we are used to a quiet life, and I find social interaction quite draining although I do like hearing other people’s stories.
There is another hosting site ‘Warm Showers’ but this usually involves proving a meal and sharing more, and if I am travelling, I wouldn’t want to do this as I am tired at the end of the day and just want to be still, quiet, and relax, not socialise. I think there are many people like me who just want to be in their own space and tent so we can give them and us whatever privacy is needed: sharing a cup of tea, proving fresh water, or chatting into the dark.
We wanted to do this as a way of helping others. We don’t have spare money so cannot give to charities. This way suits our lifestyle, and we hope to be guests in other people’s gardens when we go on cycle tours. My husband needs more social moments than I do, for him it fills a niche lost when we stopped going to exhibitions many weekends a year. He needs other people time in a way I do not. This arrangement suits us both and fulfils our desire to help others.
We live in a quiet region, and we are open to cyclists, walkers, and explorers. Many cycle tourists tend to bypass us and head for the alps, so we were not surprised that no-one had taken up our offer.
And then we had two messages. Reminded me of London buses when I was in college. None for ages and then two would appear together. Luckily, our garden guests wanted consecutive nights rather than the same one.
We thought about their requests and said, yes, we’d be happy for them to camp in our garden, even though the first garden guest was arriving on our wedding anniversary. We had no special plans for the evening after a visit to some very cool – 10 degree – local caves and a relaxing afternoon, so our first garden guest was welcomed to our garden that evening.
First garden guest.
He was a young man cycling around Europe between jobs and life choices. He’d been knocked off his bike a couple of days before and was a little sore, but because of his accident he was finding a new route with less off-road for a few days and that’s when he saw our garden was available.
Because of shared interests, not only of cycling but also board games, and language, we spent quite a lot of time chatting, listening, eating some local cheese, and drinking mint tea together. The bats were flying and the stars shining when we said goodnight – but it was only 10.30. Summer is moving on.
He wasn’t bleary-eyed in the morning, so we guess the church bells didn’t disturb him too much. He packed his minimal touring kit and left with a new book to read and some plum leather to munch on.
It is an introvert’s perfect way of meeting people for it was short and we have no commitment to keep in touch or build a friendship.
We enjoyed hearing his stories of the road and his dreams for the future, how covid flipped his world with redundancy, his long-term relationship ended, and he had to rethink his life. He has many adventures ahead and a new way of looking at life, not so planned and restricted. We wish him well.
And I hope this is the same for many people, the re-evaluating what life is about, taking time to find what makes them happy. Especially for the younger generation of adults, no-one knows what could happen tomorrow, with climate change and the pandemic, so it’s best to live for today.
Second garden guest.
A lovely woman, full of nervous energy, searching for a new direction in her life. Covid changed her working conditions until she was no longer happy. Like so many people her world was shaken, and depression pounced. Now she is exploring choices, making connections, and learning about cheese. She came to the Jura to explore cheeses of the region after spending time in the alps herding goats and making goat cheese. She now knows the process of making cheese is not her pathway, but maybe there is another role in the cheese world for her.
She was curious about us and enjoyed a walk around our very dry garden, asking questions and suggesting I write a book about our garden guests. I didn’t tell her I’d already started this blog!
We sat outside in the shade drinking iced water. She shared some Morbier cheese she’d bought on the way to us, which was so kind. We added tomatoes and homemade soda bread to the mix and enjoyed a small meal and chat. She was reluctant to eat our bread to begin with as providing food is not part of the Welcome to My Garden contract, but as we ate her cheese, she ate our bread.
A lovely simple sharing.
We left her to set up her home for two nights and went for a cool evening cycle ride before the sun dropped too low for us to see. We passed a deer grazing in a field and heard many creatures scurrying in the dry leaves alongside the road. The sky was tinged with filaments of pink as we entered the ‘cold hole’ low area of the village and shivered, it was delightful, but then we climbed back into the warmth to our house.
Her tent, with a blanket outside, looked homely and comfortable, and after checking she had what she needed we said goodnight.
We liked sharing our garden with a stranger, but also liked having our house to ourselves. I think she wanted space and freedom from other people too, she was careful not to impose or intrude.
We were in the garden picking greengages and collecting fallen apples when she emerged from her tent, smiling and bleary eyed after reading late. There had been a full moon and the night had been bright, she hadn’t been aware of the time. That’s what holidays are about.
She was happy to be here and that felt good. We gave her some greengages and a bottle of iced water, and she set off for her first cheese adventure in the Jura, with some lakes and views thrown in.
We were looking forward to hearing about it later.
She kindly sent a text saying she would be arriving back late so would see us in the morning and asked what time we wanted her to leave. We told her she could leave when she wanted but it would be nice to share a coffee before she left.
In the morning, after she had packed her tent away, we shared coffee and croissants sitting in the shade of our house, and she gifted us a jar of fig jam from her parent’s home. Very tasty.
She’d had a great day, exploring a farm, visiting a cheese shop, swimming in a lake, and eating in a restaurant. She had made more plans for the coming weeks, including visits to cheese places. We chatted about other great places to visit in the Jura, and she wanted to know about my books, so I showed her my writing hut and I felt like a real author when she took my photo with my books. Fun. She asked when my fist fiction book had been published and we were both surprised it was 2019, only three years ago and already I have five books in the world. I thought it was longer. She opened my eyes.
Her parents live in a region of France we’d like to explore on our bicycles. They have a gite, so we will be keeping in touch, and she may come back to stay another night in a week or so.
Our experience of welcoming strangers to our garden has been a good one.
We enjoyed the sharing, helping a traveller on their journey, being a listening ear, and hopefully restoring some faith in human kindness, because most humans are kind and generous, we just don’t hear about them.
It was interesting how similar their stories of needing to find a new way to live were. I wonder what our next garden guest will bring. No-one else has asked yet but then we are promised days of rain, much needed for the region, and our own hopes and dreams of an edible garden, but not so welcomed by campers.
There is much uncertainty in our world, and a huge need for mindset and attitudes to change. We may have known this time was coming but it has happened quicker than expected because of the pandemic. The shake-up of people’s stable lives, plans blown away, grief from deaths and the inability to see family and friends, and strange weather patterns have all contributed to feelings of not being in control, and depression is rife. It has been a shock, but humans are resilient and problem solvers, and I believe we can change and grow.
We all just need some time to adjust, and to accept that we never really had control.
We can give time and space to strangers through ‘Welcome to my Garden.’
If everyone does a little, gives what they can to others, then we will get through these strange and uncertain times, maybe with more happiness in our lives as we slow down and appreciate our world.
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